


What The Winds Bring

by creatureofgraphite



Series: Within the Winds AU [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Adventure, Angst, F/M, Gen, Uchiha Massacre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-10-20 01:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20666873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofgraphite/pseuds/creatureofgraphite
Summary: Itachi chose to hide his part in the Massacre and stay in Konoha. He couldn't abandon Sasuke after everything that happened. But Itachi still has enemies, and truth is often revealed in the worst of ways.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted to my fanfiction.net account: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10137927/CreatureOfGraphite
> 
> Hello everyone! This is the beginning of a very long and detailed fanfiction project that explores what might have happened if Itachi didn't join the Akatsuki. This story is an AU in other ways as well, however, and as such there will be several other deviations from canon. Now and then, some characters might be a little OOC, since the story will explore how they would behave under different circumstances than in the anime. Also, there's quite a few more pairings, but they don't come in until much later and I don't want to spoil the plot too much.
> 
> With any luck, this story will also have two sequels. As a side note, future chapters will generally be much longer than this prologue.
> 
> **I do not own Naruto and its characters.**
> 
> Enjoy!

Light bled harshly from the fluorescent ceiling lights, making the Hokage office sickeningly bright. Silence descended as Itachi concluded his report of the night's events. Hiruzen took a long, thoughtful draw from his pipe as he observed the boy. A carefully blank expression masked the child's face as he waited in the placid manner he was taught, ever the picture of perfect professionalism.

Inwardly, Hiruzen sighed wearily. Itachi found a way to stay. That was a good thing, considering the boy's ability, and as Hokage, Hiruzen couldn't help but feel the sorrowful weight of Itachi's future as if it was his own, but -

Homura and Koharu erupted into a fit of angry, barely restrained whispers.

Hiruzen hid his sigh by exhaling a long plume of smoke as he waited for his two councilors and former teammates to calm down. Apparently, one dereliction from the normally compliant Uchiha Itachi was all it took to send these 'elite' ninja into a tailspin. If it weren't for the dark nature of this meeting, they would probably yell loud enough for the rest of the Hokage Tower to hear.

Under less tragic circumstances, Hiruzen would have been amused, or at least spared his former teammates a disappointed headshake. Getting so riled up showed desperation and undermined their power, especially since they were agitated by a teen that didn't seem even remotely shaken by their accusations.

A quick glance to the right showed that Danzo wasn't so enraged. In fact, his lips quirked slightly upward, smirking like a smug cat ready to pounce. That was...good _and_ bad. If this turn of events pleased Danzo, he wouldn't halt Itachi's new plan, but that wouldn't keep him from inadvertently mutilating Itachi's life in favor of his own goals. Reading Danzo's mood was easy, but unraveling his machinations was not.

Koharu and Homura were a little simpler. At the very least it was obvious that Itachi's report practically threw an exploding tag at their plans. Otherwise, they wouldn't be going off the rails right now. Normally, they were far more reserved.

Itachi didn't even flinch when their ire erupted. Occasionally, his focus strayed distractedly about the room before resettling on the angry elders. Hiruzen knew Itachi well enough to pick up on this slight inattentiveness, but that only showed how calm the boy was. He clearly expected the elders' reaction and was already resigned to the fallout.

By now, he likely knew what needed to be done and was determined to get it over with no matter how soul shattering it might be. That was probably what allowed the child to shut down his emotions and slaughter his family hours ago.

In either case, Homura and Koharu's verbal flailing lasted long enough. Their anger was an attempt to regain control, but nothing could reverse tonight's course. The Inuzukas were already told the version of the Massacre that would allow Itachi to remain, and the boy already burned his bridges with the Akatsuki. The only recourse was to ensure the situation unfolded in the most constructive way possible.

Besides, up 'til now the boy deviated very little from the Council's orders and lost everything in the process. Itachi deserved to have something go his way, so long as it didn't harm the village.

There was a lull in his Councilors' tirade as they paused for breath, and Hiruzen took that moment to clear his throat and reclaim order.

Koharu and Homura closed their mouths before they could continue their rant, reluctantly staying silent.

Hiruzen calmly leaned back, his chair creaking lightly. "Itachi kun, please explain your reasoning."

The teen glanced up and nodded, staying silent for a brief moment before opening his mouth. "When I first received your orders, there was no one to pin the Massacre on but myself. In the next couple days, however, I noticed a strange presence lurking around the Uchiha Compound. It came from a strange sharingan wielder that claimed to be Madara, leader of Akatsuki and one of Konoha's founders. He agreed to help me commit the Massacre so long as I joined Akatsuki afterward." Itachi took a small, quiet breath.

Homura tensed, and the scowl lines on Koharu's face deepened. They were still livid, waiting for a way to drag Itachi down.

Hopefully the boy's next words would prevent that. "During the Massacre, I realized it would be best to stay here and place the blame on this rogue ninja for two reasons. Firstly, after losing the majority of a key clan like the Uchiha, Konoha would benefit from keeping the survivors in the village as a display of strength. Secondly, the original plan would have caused more fear and unrest within the village. The civilians in particular would've panicked at the idea of a ninja with my rank slaughtering so many without provocation. The unrest would've been difficult to stabilize. If, however, I am labeled a survivor instead of a clan killer, the villagers' energies can be united and directed completely toward the outside threat this 'Madara' poses."

A contemplative hum escaped Hiruzen's lips. Dealing with a random rogue would certainly be less political than handling a Konoha born clan killer, though it may be imprudent to reveal the rogue's claimed identity to the public.

"If you took responsibility for the Massacre and left, you would have then become the outside threat needed to unite the villagers' energy," Koharu replied reproachfully.

That comment deserved a frown. A lifetime of knowing her clarified her intentions on this matter far too easily. Koharu apparently thought it easier to have Itachi gone labeled a missing nin and unable to directly interfere in Uchiha matters. If the Council found the boy too problematic, he could be hunted down and killed under the guise of due process.

Continuing his Konoha citizenship would make disposing of him far harder. Even worse for the elders, Itachi knew secrets that could be used as blackmail, though that would stand regardless of where he lived. He was only thirteen, but still skilled enough to influence his future. He wasn't a naive, malleable pawn like Sasuke would be, and apparently, that's what mattered to Koharu.

Thankfully, Itachi found a chance to remain close and shield Sasuke from the Council's worst wiles.

"That would still sow mistrust among the civilians. How can they trust us to protect them if they know the heir of one of our most powerful shinobi clans killed his own family?" Hiruzen asked.

Homura scoffed at that. "Don't forget that following Itachi kun's plan means admitting to fatal security holes. That'll lead to doubt from the civilian sector _and_ invite enemies to sniff around our borders for weaknesses."

Itachi met his gaze, and Hiruzen let his expression shift into a tiny smile that said 'Don't worry, I'll handle this from here.'

"The other nations know that ninja villages patch security holes quickly. If we appear united, they'll see that we're ready to counter any threat. Itachi kun is right to think showing internal unrest is far more dangerous, and regardless, do you have any better ideas?" Hiruzen countered firmly.

Narrowed eyes and silence was the only reply.

A small chuckle escaped Hiruzen's mouth. "Besides, wouldn't it be wise to have the best remaining sharingan user in the village to train Sasuke kun?"

"Hm."

That amused sound came from Danzo. Evidence that this situation _did_ cater to his wretched plans.

Homura didn't bother responding, and Koharu narrowed her eyes and glowered at Itachi. "We still expect you to hunt down the Uchiha that are out on missions."

The boy dipped his head slightly. "Of course."

Not much else could be sorted out tonight. "Is there anything left to discuss?"

No response. "Then this meeting is adjourned. Itachi kun, you're dismissed."


	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I do not own Naruto and its characters.**

There were no stars; only a massive, malevolent moon glowing deep and bloody red. Stifling warmth smothered the stagnant air. Houses and shops lined the street with their silhouettes, stark against the moon's scarlet.

Lumps covered the ground like scattered leaves. Corpses resting in their own blood.

Itachi turned back to the path ahead and swallowed.

Ameko moved further down the street, walking on as if oblivious to the carnage.

Right. She was still here, she still had to di-

That thought was dismissed with a quick headshake. He forced his breaths to come calm and even and silent. It was time to follow and catch up to her, end this quickly so she didn't have to suffer, or even know that he betrayed her in the first place.

Silent footsteps moved him around the carcasses with practiced ease, but they didn't always avoid the congealing puddles of blood. The red liquid was slick beneath his sandals, probably smudging dark crimson with each step along the path.

He trailed after Ameko, like a wolf meandering closer to a deer herd, but there was no need. She was already in range. Just a quick genjutsu, and it would be over. Ensuring her a quick, painless death was the reason for choosing to slay this half of the Compound instead of the other.

Even so, his ribcage clenched, and his hands refused to weave the necessary handsigns. If not for their ghastly surroundings, this would be like so many other evenings. Her, walking home from training, and he returning from a mission, about to run up to her so he could say hi before heading to the Hokage Tower to deliver his mission report.

Numbness seized his hands, his heart thrumming desperately for escape. Only a few yards separated them now. He stopped, muscles drawing taunt with apprehension. What the hell was wrong with him?

Every moment of reluctance increased the chances of her turning around, fighting him, and having a far less peaceful demise. Why did he have to be so selfish, so hesitant even now that there was no other recourse?

He forced his shoulders to relax so his hands could form the seals, trying to ignore how twisted he felt.

But then she turned, her eyes sharp, narrow and angry. Itachi's heart jumped and pounded, freezing him in place.

She strode forward, glaring down at the ground, shoulders tense with rage. Her steps halted a few feet away. Slowly, her hands inched toward her weapons pouch. Then, in a split second, she drew a pair of kunai and lunged.

He barely leaned back and drew his katana in time to block the blade aimed for his throat. Ameko's golden brown gaze burned with rage and accusation as she immediately followed up with another swipe. His sharingan activated immediately, reflexively casting the first genjutsu capable of immobilizing her. Right before his sword impaled her lower ribcage.

The girl's eyes widened with shock and pain, though the expression diminished as she trembled and went limp. Her corpse slid off the blade, falling with a quiet, sickening thud. A slick of blood coated the katana's cruel length, ruby droplets lethargically snaking along the edge before dripping off.

The scent of fresh carnage rose sharply in the humid air. A red puddle seeped from Ameko's torso. Blood pooled slowly beneath her, glimmering and brilliant under the moon's angry, scarlet gaze. Strands of dark brown hair splayed over her face and onto the ground in graceful tendrils. Her head leaned limply to the side, lifeless.

Itachi stared dully, eyes misting, heart welling with guilty, desperate grief. He swallowed harshly as he crouched beside her.

Something glinted faintly around her neck during that movement, and he squinted to get a better look.

Oh, the necklace her gave her for her birthday last year. She wore it every day since then. A sad, fond smile crossed his face as he touched one of the three circles the simple piece of jewelry had. A circle for him, another for Shisui, and another to represent Ameko.

'I'm the only one of us left...' His shoulders slumped as his thumb traced the slim piece of metal. It was his fault he was alone, and that fact should never be forgotten.

Gently, Itachi raised Ameko's head so he could bring the necklace's clasp around to face him. Her hair felt soft between his fingers. Reluctantly, he eased her head back to the ground and removed the metal string. He stood with a quiet sigh, staring ahead as he put the necklace on.

So now he was stealing from her. He just couldn't keep himself from messing up, could he? But if Ameko were alive now, she wouldn't want to keep any gifts from him. And it would be nice to have a reminder of her, no matter how painful it would be.

Tomorrow, he would wake up and fulfill his duties while pretending not to be a murderer. But as he walked down the streets, there would be brief moments when he hoped to see her, only to be let down by this sickening reality. They would have no more training sessions, no more conversations, no more secret, knowing smiles as they pretended to merely be friends, because Ameko didn't exist anymore. Not really, anyway, and he was the reason why.

He glanced back down at her, then closed his eyes so he could stop staring at her dull, lifeless ones. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you; I'm so, so sorry...' But such words meant nothing to the dead, especially since Ameko would sneer bitterly if she could somehow hear them.

"Caw!" the haunting call of a raven rang out. Itachi whirled around to see the large, black bird perched on a telephone pole, staring at him with its round black eyes. Cruel red moonlight edged the bird's glossy feathers, much like the corpses littering the Compound.

The bird tilted its head, then crowed again.

…...

Itachi's eyes opened, heart racing as his vision gradually came into focus. Blearily, he took in the sight of the white ceiling, dragging himself from that nightmare and back to reality.

This was the Inuzuka guest bedroom, where he and Sasuke were staying until after the funeral and initial investigation of the Compound were finished. Judging from the light permeating the half open window, dawn just arrived, gently waking the world. Birds trilled happily, their voices whispering through the trees as if the Massacre never happened.

Much like he would have to go on as if he didn't slaughter his entire family. Now that that atrocity was over, he was left to enjoy the resulting peace. Ameko would have sneered and asked if it was worth it.

A strained sigh shuddered past his lips as he rubbed his face harshly. Traces of slightly sticky moisture smeared beneath his fingers. Tears? His eyes did feel a bit moist. Hopefully Sasuke didn't hear him crying in the middle of the night. Little brother already had enough burdens without worrying about a clan killer's well being.

Itachi lowered his hands and glimpsed a hint of red. He took a second glance and blinked, staring at the smudges of blood painting his fingers. 'My mangekyo activated while I was asleep?' Better get this red mess cleaned off before Sasuke saw it and asked questions. This probably wouldn't be the last time he wakes with crimson tears, though.

"You're sleeping soundly," a bitter voice rasped from the window's direction.

Itachi turned his head to the right. Ameko's favorite raven summon perched on the window sill, glaring with one of its shiny black eyes. The bird opened its beak and tilted its head in an almost bitter, mocking way, rustling the unusually thick feathers around its neck.

Itachi sat up slowly, glancing at his little brother slumbering soundly on the other side of the room.

'We can't talk here. Sasuke could wake up…' Itachi peeled back the covers and calmly walked to the window.

The raven hopped off the sill and onto the ground, allowing Itachi to climb outside and stride into the fresh morning air. Wings flapped lightly a few seconds before the black bird's weight settled onto Itachi's shoulder. Moments passed in tense uncertainty as the raven seethed in silence. Thankfully the beast was willing to take this discussion elsewhere.

They were three fourths of the way into the yard before the bird leaned closer to his ear. "You killed our summoner," the creature rasped darkly.

No more avoiding this, then. Itachi stopped and closed his eyes a moment. Unsurprising as this confrontation was, it was hard to determine exactly what it was for, though at the very least, it probably wasn't for revenge. If they were out to kill him, they would have probably attempted that as he slept. No, they wanted something else. Entering a hostile conversation without knowing the other side's intention was hardly a comfortable position to be in, though.

Itachi's jaw clenched. "Yes."

"She trusted you," the words hissed venomously.

Itachi studied the cool, dew laden grass beneath his feet. "Yes," he replied softly.

A disapproving click left the animal's beak. "Well, you left us in quite the quandary. We no longer have a summoner, but because of you, Ameko sama became so attached to your clan that she ordered us to keep our summoning contract within the Uchiha. You betrayed our master, but your brother's too young and useless to take her place, and had practically no ties to Ameko sama."

The ravens served Ameko even when she was far younger than Sasuke, but arguing that point was ill advised when Itachi didn't want his little brother to have the contract in the first place. Who knew if those birds would keep the Massacre's secrets buried if Sasuke was their master?

Clawed toes shifted on Itachi's shoulder. "As much as we'd rather tear you apart, becoming our summoner is the only way you can make this somewhat right," the bird continued.

He blinked at that. In retrospect, that demand made sense, but was startling none the less. In spite of the ravens' need for a summoner, he was still the last person they would want to obey. A contract with Sasuke would probably be easier for the shadowy birds to accept.

In spite of that, though, they still had needs and traditions, which could be better met by Itachi. At the very least, Itachi was a high ranking, active duty ninja that had a higher chance of bringing them near battlefields with corpses they could pick clean.

Since Itachi was also one of the few surviving Uchiha, he was ultimately the easiest way for the ravens to balance their clan's needs with their loyalty to Ameko's wishes. Itachi nodded slightly, glancing at the bird from the corner of his eye. "If that is your wish."

The small animal regarded him with an opportunistic gaze before turning and unfurling his wings. "Then I'll tell the others," he replied, pausing a moment before leaping into the air and flying into the morning sky. The bird was soon nothing more than a speck.

So, there wouldn't be any trouble from their front... not for a while, anyway. That was something at least. Thankfully, the ravens' ire shifted into something more pragmatic than simple retribution.

Itachi closed his eyes and let the cool morning breeze waft over him. So it was going to be just like this, huh? On top of murdering Ameko, he was going to take the ravens from her? Sure, she would want them taken care of, and that was the least he could do after everything. Yet...memories of her accusing, wounded glare kept replaying in haunting, vengeful glimpses... followed by the subtle, sickening sound of his katana impaling her ribcage.

He drew in a shaky breath, pressing a trembling hand to his face. His heart rate picked up again. Damn. Why despair over this now, when there was still so much left to do? He needed to speak to Sasuke, then get ready to address the next part of the Council's demands.

Giving up and running away would be nice, but he was already far too deep in this mess. And Sasuke needed him. Murderers didn't deserve to wallow in grief, especially when it kept them from fixing the fallout of their mistakes.

It was high time he faced the day already. This mission wasn't over just because he killed his family.

With a barely audible sigh, Itachi reluctantly turned and stepped forward, taking his time reaching the house.

A headache worried at a spot just above Itachi's right eye as he climbed back in through the window. He rubbed at the soreness as he went to his futon and straightened the blankets. Sasuke's sleeping area was empty, so he was already up. Everything required for today's mission was already packed, so supply gathering couldn't be used to put off the inevitable. Organizing the contents may be necessary, though...

The bedroom door slid open. An upward glance showed Sasuke in the entrance, yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Morning," he mumbled.

Itachi smiled wanly. "Good morning." He picked his small travel pack off the floor and inspected its contents. Everything inside was useful for taking refuge with the Inuzukas for the next few weeks, but not for his mission.

He removed a few of his favorite clothes and left them neatly on the mattress. That would allow more space in his pack if he needed it. And it was usually best to take one's least preferred clothes on missions, since mission clothes tended to get ruined sooner or later.

The weight of Sasuke's curious gaze was vaguely unsettling. "Where are you going, Nii san?"

That question… Itachi paused midway through closing the bag and looked up, meeting Sasuke's dull, sad eyes. Last night the younger boy was scared and agitated by the corpses drowning the Compound, but now his energy seemed entirely gone. "To gather intel on Madara."

Giving that explanation made his gut twinge uncomfortably. He wasn't going to join the investigation of Madara just yet. Lying felt wrong, but Sasuke couldn't know of today's actual mission.

Sasuke straightened just a bit, vaguely intent and eager, making it seem like that lie was indeed the best one to tell. "Alright, Nii san," Sasuke replied. Those words still lacked energy, but not as severely as before.

Hearing that his big brother was joining the investigation team probably offered comfort, and reassurance that justice would be served. Ironic, seeing as Madara wasn't the only one that stained the Compound red. But everything was carefully planned to ensure Sasuke never discovered his brother's involvement, which was why he was one of the few informed about 'Madara'. If there was already someone to blame for their family's death, Sasuke would have no reason to search for answers.

The first announcement made to the village, however, would declare that the identity of the Uchihas' killer was currently unknown and under investigation. Sasuke was told that the murderer's identity would be temporarily hidden for the sake of the village's stability.

Thus, any resentment Sasuke had would be steered in a relatively harmless direction. Madara would probably be dealt with long before little brother could expect to be sent on a mission against that man. So even if Sasuke developed hatred for Madara, he'd never have a chance to act on it, and thus be safe.

That was far better than letting him be destroyed by the truth. "I will be back in time for the funeral."

Sasuke nodded, then took a deep breath and frowned. "What's wrong with your face, Nii san?"

Itachi's heart scrambled frantically for a moment. He nearly forgot about the blood smudged around his eyes. From the slight hesitance before that question, Sasuke probably noticed almost right away and just didn't ask.

Discussing the mangekyo wasn't exactly appealing at the moment. Sasuke knew he fought Madara off last night though, so… "I accidentally reopened some scrapes from last night. Don't worry about it."

Little brother stared skeptically, studying his face as if looking for evidence of that explanation. Doubtful or not, though, Sasuke probably couldn't think of anything that made more sense.

Itachi slung his bag over his shoulder. "Be polite, and help Inuzuka sama with whatever she needs."

Sasuke nodded a little slowly. "Ok, Nii san."

Itachi gave a brief smile, then strode into the hall and entered the bathroom, locking himself in. The mirror hung above the sink, reflecting a small, worn, empty child with a crimson smeared face.

Child. When was the last time he truly considered himself one? Not that he quite felt like an adult either, but...for years he behaved as some weird hybrid of the two. Everyone always piled on responsibility, and in an effort to understand life and excel as a shinobi, he ate up every obligation like an eager dog. That's why his family was dead, leaving him and little brother so miserable.

But if he hadn't done that...would things really be any better? If no one was there to bring the coup to the Hokage's attention and stop it, would anyone be happy? At the very least, every ninja in Konoha would have fought, or lost relatives in some stupid civil war no one needed.

Siding with the Uchiha would have still meant killing good people, or else being branded a coward for watching from the sidelines. And the clan could have lost the fight and been executed anyway. Sasuke might've died too, either caught in the crossfire or executed because, in that situation, there would be no way to prove he was innocent of his family's treachery.

Absentmindedly, his fingers touched the metal necklace around his neck.

But, what if the takeover didn't go so poorly? What if the villagers were more pragmatic and decided that accepting Father's rule was better than fighting to keep their former leaders?

Itachi gripped the sink's edge and scowled. Every scenario was already considered, over and over, and there was no good answer. Only a way to shed the least amount of blood and ensure Sasuke's safety, which was the current path of their lives. Being the one to deliver that end just happened to be extraordinarily messed up. He was perfect for committing that atrocity, considering his skill and connection to the Uchiha.

He was also dedicated. Almost pathetically so. The blood smears around his eyes were a mocking reminder of where his eagerness for duty got him. Good thing he didn't walk out of the house looking like this. Regardless of any necessity to his evils, he was still a murderer. No need to make people worry more than they already did.

A quiet sigh left him as he turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face, scrubbing away the sorrowful reminder of his guilt ridden nightmares.


	3. Adjusting To Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I do not own Naruto and its characters.**

Dawn's first rays infiltrated the blinds of the Hokage office, gradually brightening as the sun rose. Stacks of paper surrounded Hiruzen sama, and the man's pipe sat on the desk, unlit.

Fatigue burdened Itachi's eyelids, constantly trying to pull them shut. Every effort was spared in forcing them open, to conceal the weariness seeping into his very bones.

The Hokage's brow creased slightly, eyes assessing, gaze concerned. What was he so worried about…? Ah, yes. The man spoke, and an unordinary amount of moments later, Itachi still remained silent. Combine that with the Massacre and the fact that hiding his tiredness probably wasn't working, and Hiruzen sama had plenty of reasons to make that expression.

At least the Council wasn't here to stretch this meeting out longer, or read into why he could barely stay awake.

Now, for a non embarrassing way to respond to a question he hadn't heard. More than likely, the Hokage stated some pleasantry, or asked about the mission. Best to respond based on the mission, then.

Stress stabbed Itachi's heart, and he tensed slightly as he reached into his traveling pouch to remove a small sealing scroll. Any seasoned shinobi would notice the stiffness in his posture, but under the circumstances, Hiruzen sama would probably assume it came from remembering the murders of even more of his kin.

Itachi came forward, lightly setting the scroll on the desk before taking a couple steps back. "The corpses of the on mission Uchiha are sealed inside," he intoned emotionlessly.

The Hokage's brows slackened slightly, as if surrendering to regret and tragedy. Initially, hearing that the man would be willing to destroy the Uchiha was infuriating and disappointing. But then...Hiruzen sama still made an effort to stall the Massacre. He was merciful, unlike Danzo, who seemed to give very little thought before deciding the Clan needed to die.

And now, the Sandaime actively supported Itachi's decision to remain in Konoha. The scroll rested between them, encompassing so much risk and deception. There was something sickening about delivering this half truth to someone that did so much to aid him and Sasuke.

Lying to the Council was far easier. Then again, Hiruzen _wanted_ to save the Clan, so long as they didn't threaten the village. Itachi liked to think the man would secretly sympathize with this secret plan, if not approve of it. Not that that automatically made it ok. Going behind a leader's back was usually frowned upon regardless of the reasons.

A bitter smirk nearly crossed Itachi's face. Lately, just about everything turned out to be a confusing mix of right and wrong. Maintaining appearances through it all felt exhausting as last night, when he ran practically non stop, just so he could arrive in Konoha within the expected time frame. Any less would've invited scrutiny of the mission and made all his efforts meaningless.

Rest and happiness were worthless if everything fell apart around him. That truth was inescapable, even if it left him feeling worn out and dead on his feet...

Hiruzen sama cleared his throat awkwardly as his gnarled old hand picked the scroll off his desk. He leaned to the side and locked the roll of paper in a drawer. "Ah, I see. Thank you, Itachi kun."

The scroll would be delivered to the right people later. Itachi's guts churned at the thought. Hopefully no one examined the carcasses too closely, or at least not the fake ones. Even when out of sight, the scroll still sat starkly in his awareness, like a poisonous snake that would wander where it wasn't supposed to and bite someone.

It may as well be. Who knew if Orochimaru altered those decoy corpses convincingly enough? And although Itachi checked them for traps, something could have escaped notice. Reneging on the payment for the sannin's help wasn't exactly the greatest idea either, even though giving the man a sharingan was out of the question. Between the snake summoner and Madara, he seemed to have a talent for aggravating S class criminals.

Even more problems for later.

Hokage sama opened a different drawer, removing a thick file before holding it out. "There are a few more considerations we need to discuss, now that you are Sasuke kun's only guardian."

Sasuke? Itachi's heart rate wound up a bit at that. Was this a challenge to his ability to take care of his brother, or a discussion that would make the task easier? He was a little more awake now as he approached and took the offered item, gaze focusing on the village's leader.

"Due to your circumstances, you have been demoted to Jonin."

Itachi blinked. "Hokage sama?" Sure, being in ANBU led to a lot of morally gray assassination missions and exhausting, irregular hours, but being demoted from _anything_ sounded cringe worthy after a lifetime of climbing the ranks. Plus...being amongst Konoha's secret elite meant challenge and progress, along with the power to influence the future.

Being in ANBU made saving Sasuke possible, after all. Now, he lacked access to that organization, which would make keeping an eye on Danzo far harder. Why did things have to keep getting more complicated?

Hiruzen sama placed his elbows on the desk and leaned forward. "This is of course not due to incompetence. Being a full time ANBU operative was fine when you weren't someone's primary caregiver. Now, however…" The old man shook his head sadly. "Some changes need to be made. You're pretty much a single parent, which is far more difficult than you realize. You need time to be there for Sasuke kun, which requires some semblance of a flexible schedule."

Unease flickered deep, slowly morphing into conflict and guilt. If the initial plan of joining Akatsuki went through, Sasuke would have spent all his time alone and would have had to manage in spite of feeling betrayed. Technically, being here instead of running off and pretending to be an evil sadist was a step above what would have happened.

Threats like Danzo and Madara could get in the way of the good life he intended to build for Sasuke, though. Handling such threats was more important than hanging out with little brother on a daily basis.

Still, being present for Sasuke, giving him a good life instead of a miserable one, was the whole point of feigning uninvolvement in the Clan's demise. Before then, how often did he truly spend time with little brother? And in the Massacre's wake, has he really been there like a good sibling would? Not really.

That wasn't acceptable. He used to imagine training Sasuke regularly after preventing the coup. Instead of making good on that plan, he still went through spirals of stress and responsibility that told him to put time with little brother on hold, even though there should be fewer barriers to training him now.

The _Uchiha_ no longer provided barriers, at least. During the last few years, time with Sasuke held so many potential repercussions, like dealing with Father and Mother's demands. Or, having their kinsmen say that if he could spare time for a younger sibling, he could certainly spare time for Clan meetings.

And that left him standing here, thinking about how convenient life would be without family there to interrupt it. They turned him into a such a horrible person, one that killed them and saw advantages in their deaths. Ameko, Shisui and Sasuke were the only ones that offered a slight exception to that.

The Uchiha funeral would happen the day after tomorrow, though. Why couldn't he be at least a little more respectful?

Scraps of memories surfaced, unbidden, rising into harshly clawing anger. So many times others tried to force him onto paths and into roles he didn't want. Avoiding their expectations meant avoiding Sasuke, who didn't deserve to be ignored like that.

Itachi _wanted_ to stop being so negligent, and made plans to do so. But life came back and rubbed his naivety in his face. Of course becoming a secret clan killer wouldn't let him exist as he wanted. There were so many more secrets and lies to maintain now, and a mere change in career might not be enough to handle both them and his good intentions.

Not that he deserved any better, but _Sasuke_ did...

The Sandaime continued, and Itachi tore away from his bitter thoughts to listen. He already missed the first few sentences. "-as a sensei, much of your time can be spent in the village training your students, at least for the first few months. Hopefully by then your brother will be used to his new life."

So he would be teaching genin? Itachi nodded, though inwardly, he was already frowning.

"Being a Jonin sensei isn't something to take lightly, however, especially since there is a specific mission in it for you. Open the folder to the profile labeled G1."

Itachi obeyed, flipping to the correct set of papers. The profile photo was of a feminine teen with long, near black hair, brown eyes and pale skin. Initially, the child's face seemed serene, but there was something tense and passive aggressive in the expression. Subtle, but still present and dangerous. Itachi skimmed over the dossier's basic info.

Name: Yuki Haku. Age: 13. Gender: Male. Abilities of Note: Ice Release…

Itachi glanced up, brows furrowing. He almost mistook this person for a girl, but gender wasn't the most surprising fact here. "Ice release? Where did you get him?" Surely the boy wasn't from here. Ice release was not known to this region, and those that wielded it were thought to have been exterminated by their own village. Kind of like the Uchiha.

A wan smile crossed the old man's face. "We picked him up after a fight near Nami no Kuni. He was traveling with a band of nuke nin led by Momochi Zabuza. The battle separated him from the others, and we captured him. Due to his age and ability, the Council was willing to see if he could be integrated into Konoha."

There was a pause as Hiruzen reached for his pipe. "With no success thus far?" Itachi asked curiously. If Haku's acceptance into the village met no hindrances up 'til now, Sandaime wouldn't look so troubled.

"He agreed to our demands, and seems to cooperate at a surface level. But, some note that he looks unhappy. Also, he seems to hide his true abilities. During tutoring sessions, he displays the same techniques as he did during his capture, but considering the level of those techniques, he should be advanced enough to apply them more strategically than he does during training. And if he's downplaying strategic ability, he is probably doing that with other jutsu he knows."

Meaning he either mistrusts or resents the village, if not both. Lovely. "So watch him for treachery, and cultivate loyalty in him whenever possible?"

Hiruzen sama added a bit of tobacco to his pipe. "Yes. He's dangerous, but young and promising. Killing him would be a tragedy." His gaze bored into Itachi's in that firm way of his, intent on conveying the gravity of this assignment. "This mission is to make balancing your new responsibilities easier, Itachi kun, but is still of the utmost importance, for the village _and_ that child."

The tired, aggravated part of Itachi bristled with frustration and a hint of helplessness. He treated every mission with respect and diligence, so that last comment wasn't necessary. If the mission failed, it wouldn't be due to carelessness. Itachi would do all he could, but that did not ensure success. 

He couldn't even convince his own relatives to be loyal, after all. If this task was so important, it was probably better for someone that actually had persuasive skills. 

Really, this role was probably only given to him because of how conveniently the circumstances lined up. Hokage sama thought Itachi needed a schedule change right when Haku needed a mentor that was willing and able to kill him if need be. 

Normally, this task would be like any other: an interesting challenge and, in this case, a chance to help someone survive and become useful to the village. But winning Haku over could fail so easily, and that mattered, considering the boy's life was on the line. The mission probably _would_ fail, in fact, since apparently changing minds wasn't Itachi's strong point. Participating in such a futile task when many far more important problems commanded his attention actually felt kind of infuriating. 

He didn't need more on his plate. As it was, Madara was still a threat, Danzo might want to get rid of him and Sasuke, and someone could figure out that not all the on mission Uchiha were actually dead. But, staving off the Council's antics necessitated cooperating enough that they had less occasion to come against him. Refusing an order made to favor him would not aid that goal. 

And...well, he couldn't expect _not_ to be assigned missions. "Yes, Hokage sama." 

A grateful smile spread across the old man's face. Maybe taking this task could at least make up for lying about the on mission Uchiha, if only in terms of easing the guilt in Itachi's mind. And yes, this did mean more opportunities to look out for little brother, though it didn't detract from other issues. 

So, add Haku to the growing pile of burdens and responsibilities. Hopefully _this_ burden wouldn't distract from the more important ones. "Is there anything I should know about his teammates?" 

"Hm," Sandaime hummed contemplatively before standing, calmly crossing the room to open a window. "They don't get along with the boy, which could be fueling his distaste toward living here. But, they are very talented in their own way. Separating them would hinder both Haku kun's future and theirs." 

"I see," Itachi replied carefully, making sure to filter out any agitation before speaking. Teaching a trio of kids that happened to be more or less his age sounded strange already. Mentoring came naturally with Sasuke, due to their age gap, but how was he supposed to be an adult to fellow teenagers? "When do I need to meet with them?" 

Hiruzen sama struck a match and lit his pipe as he gazed outside. "Three days after the funeral, pick them up after class." A plume of smoke ghosted past the man's lips, flowing out the window. "You will also be assigned some curriculum to teach you the rest of what you need to know as a clan heir. Unless you have a mission, you will turn those assignments in once a week." 

Itachi nearly cringed at that. So many of his Clan duties were put on hold after he became a Jonin, and practically stopped once he entered ANBU, so he had a lot of political education to catch up on. Although he and Sasuke were the only Uchiha left, their clan held such prominence that he would probably still be expected to participate in several village wide meetings, once he was deemed fit to have the title of clan head. 

He would have more power, then, but also a million more tasks that led away from the threats lingering in the dark edges of the future. He certainly should learn all the clan heir things he's been neglecting, but at this juncture it felt so frustratingly needless. If life was trying to make things more complicated before, now it was just handing him pointless busywork. 

Itachi's eyes tried pulling shut again. Hokage sama did his best, though. Voicing complaints would be rather bratty right now... 

"The rest of the specifics are in the folder I gave you. Biwako chan will be by tomorrow at four for your first inspection. Go home and get some rest, you look tired." 

The world came back into focus. Hiruzen sama looked sympathetic. Looking half asleep managed to work in his favor, then, even if appearing that way felt unprofessional. 

Rest wouldn't get rid of his problems, though. "Hai." Go home, sleep, then wake up to the exact same set of issues. Temporary relief, but no escape. 

He dipped his head in a small bow, then turned and strode toward the door. 

"Itachi kun." 

Itachi stopped and glanced back. 

Sandaime's gaze was understanding, but intent and firm. "Danzo san is no longer on the Council. You are under no legal obligation to take orders from him anymore." 

Itachi blinked. Relief and agitation coiled together in a sickening mixture. Never again did he want to listen to Danzo, but the man seemed to like doing things behind the Hokage's back. How would demoting the old warhawk prevent that? Although Danzo deserved to lose his title, it would be nearly impossible to keep track of him now that most of his activities would become covert. 

Maybe contacting Danzo under the guise of wanting to secretly serve under his command could work, except the former elder couldn't possibly believe that, not after forcing Itachi to kill his own family. Danzo would see him as a spy, no matter how convincing his cover story was. 

And, judging from Hiruzen sama's clear warning tone, associating with the suspicious man, even for the sake of spying, wouldn't be permitted outside some emergency scenario. That...actually made sense. When Danzo had authority to give orders before, Itachi obeyed his decision to eliminate the Uchiha before the Sandaime permitted such extreme measures. 

Hiruzen sama lost trust in any association between Itachi and Danzo. Not because the Hokage thought Itachi would become a traitor, but because after unquestioningly following Danzo's orders the first time, any decent leader would be cautious enough to keep them separate. 

So, there was no true resentment in the village leader's mind, but there was now a boundary in place, and the knowledge that Itachi could be too obedient at times. 

No matter how sensible that was, it still stung a little. "Yes, Hokage sama," Itachi managed to say, nodding to his leader before exiting the office. 

He turned down the hall and let his expression darken. Sandaime was just doing his job, but that didn't make things easier. A plan for dealing with Danzo probably existed already, but such plans would handle the issues the Hokage foresaw, not the ones that Itachi had but would be ill advised to share. How could it possibly be prudent to sit back and assume other people could handle everything? 

For his sake and Sasuke's, he had to find a way to fix this. Without getting caught, and in such a way that, even if he was found out, it wouldn't spell disaster for him and little brother. 

That would be all Danzo needed: an act of suspicious disobedience that could be framed as treason. Maybe it was best to wait and watch instead of acting immediately. He couldn't afford to make frenzied, careless choices right now. 

Oh, and there were so many other _mundane_ tasks that insisted on attention before anything else. And not dealing with them could be just as ruinous. 

Having the opportunity to nap sounded nice, but there would be so much to do when he got up, even just in terms of existing. He needed to pick Sasuke up, otherwise he wouldn't know to come back to the Uchiha manor. Plus, Itachi needed to thank the Inuzukas for their hospitality and retrieve the luggage from their guest room. 

Then, he and little brother had to go home and deal with chores. Whatever food remained in the fridge would likely be spoiled by now. He and Sasuke would have to clear it out, go shopping, and make dinner. After that, every inch of the house needed to be cleaned and organized. The cleanup crew removed their parents' corpses and bloodstain, but there was probably dust and disorder from weeks of neglect, and strangers tromping through the house for evidence. 

Everything at home needed to be perfect, to prove that he would be the best guardian for Sasuke. 

All that was merely the beginning. There was also that farce of a funeral, which required him to be at center stage, lying about the greatest atrocities in his life. The only comfort was that the Clan would be remembered with some semblance of honor. No one would see Ameko as a traitor. 

Ameko... 

A memory came, unbidden, of silvery moonlight glaring onto the Uchiha district's streets. And Ameko, shouting at him in disbelief and anger. He said cruel things to goad her into a fight, because he couldn't force himself to slay her except in self defense. She could have had a quick and painless death, if only he had been strong enough to catch her by surprise. 

Instead, she got to see how horrible he was, and learn what it was like to be betrayed by someone who was supposed to care. She shouldn't have had to die hating him. 

Tears pricked his eyes as he walked out of the Hokage Tower, quickening his strides, trying to calm down before he saw someone that knew him well enough to ask what was wrong. No need for a concerned interrogation right now. 

His breaths quickened. Avoiding everyone would be a simple matter of taking to the rooftops, but traveling the entire night didn't leave enough energy to jump around like that outside necessity. 

All he wanted was for the problems to...stop. 

The last few weeks were hell, honestly. Living in constant burnout from grief, sleeping very little, always knowing that one wrong move could destroy what precious things he had left… 

This simple inability to retreat from it all felt like being stuck in a cruel, unrelenting trap. 

Was this why Shisui killed himself? Did everything preceding the Massacre corner him over and over again until he finally couldn't help but throw himself off that damn cliff? 

Did he know what would happen and simply couldn't bear to watch? Did he consider that, barring some miracle, Ameko would die along with everyone else? 

Was that why he left Itachi to suffer alone? Was that the sort of thing _anyone_ might resort to? 

Sasuke...Sasuke still needed someone. Would he come home some day to see his big brother sprawled out on the floor, dead because that seemed to be the only way out of this never ending agony called life? 

Itachi's heart clenched. Sasuke didn't even understand why his elder brother rarely spent time with him. How could he possibly understand the irreversible abandonment death would bring? Itachi was a lot older, and still couldn't quite wrap his mind around Shisui's suicide. All that loss, grief, helplessness and confusion… 

Little brother didn't deserve to feel that. The Massacre was one thing, but if Sasuke's only remaining family showed him that he wasn't good enough to stay around for... 

A sigh escaped Itachi's mouth. It didn't bear thinking about. Raising Sasuke, protecting him; that should be enough reason to stay in this world. 

Then again, Ameko was Shisui's little sister, and that wasn't enough to make him live. 

Itachi shook his head as he turned down a side street. He'd just have to be better than Shisui. 

Delicious scents wafted on the wind, bread and cinnamon rolls from a bakery. Hunger gnawed at his insides, but eating would merely delay the relief of sleep. 

Everything was way too much to dwell on right now. He needed to put everything out of his mind, go home and crash for a few hours before retrieving Sasuke. Then...they could shop for groceries. 

He had the rest of his life to ponder how shitty things were. 

…... 

The pond was blue with the sky's reflection. A leaf blew into the water and drifted on its surface, nudged along by a gentle wind. Sasuke's feet dangled off the end of the dock, and he half heartedly tossed a pebble into the water, making it ripple and distort his image. 

Birds sang their morning tune in the trees on the opposite shore. The cool breath of early air felt soothing. But, if he closed his eyes, it felt the same as yesterday, at the funeral. 

It was cloudier then, though. And it wasn't so blessedly quiet. His chest tightened slightly. 

At the wake, so many photos sat lined up on black draped tables. Quite a few were of people he was close to, or at least saw occasionally. There was no way to carry enough flowers to offer them all the respect they deserved. 

Itachi's voice rang clear and solemn, but Sasuke's absorption of his brother's funeral speech faded as he caught sight of Hayashi Rin. She was in the front row, too, but on the other side of the field. Sadness pulled her lips into a frown as she listened with reverent attentiveness. 

Unlike those people at the market the other day, _she_ wouldn't go around gossiping about his family's death. Why would she when she hardly talked to anyone? Usually, Rin was quiet and antisocial, like him, and overall pretty ok for a girl. 

Maybe he should have gone up and talked to her. Itachi would probably say that would have been the polite thing to do, since they were friends. After the funeral rituals, however, small groups of solemn people approached with their condolences, pinning Sasuke in those social interactions. Rin wasn't among them, seemingly disappearing some time after the main ceremony ended. 

Thankfully, she was nice enough to know that he needed space. Being an orphan must have made her understand. _He_ certainly never understood how hard it was for Rin until now. Secure and happy in his own family, he assumed he'd never end up like her. 

Now, he was, and hearing the same sympathetic words from people over and over again felt cloying and suffocating. Eventually, they rang hollow as Sasuke waited beside big brother, speaking only when someone bothered to address him. 

In spite of their words, how many of these people would still speculate over the Massacre behind his back as if it was _fun_ and _interesting_? After the conversations he overheard at the market, the answer seemed to be 'quite a few'. 

When the multitude thinned out enough, Itachi took him home, silent and distracted the whole way. What was he thinking? 

'Maybe I'd have a clue if my mind hadn't wandered the whole time earlier.' Sasuke scolded himself inwardly. Hopefully Nii san didn't notice his inattentiveness. 

In spite of not hearing much of Itachi's speech, though, it was easy enough to tell that big brother conducted himself well. If Nii san were just a bit taller, none would have believed a child gave the Clan's eulogy. Father would have been proud. 

But Father was too dead to see his perfect heir speak, or the people talking in hushed voices afterward, and the way tears seeped from some of their eyes. Or how they stepped through dew soaked grass to place white flowers on the graves. 

Sasuke frowned at the memory, leaning back until he lay on the dock, staring at the near cloudless expanse above. 

Interestingly enough, after saying words over the Clan, Itachi didn't look at any of the Uchiha funeral photos. Surely he would have at least paused in front of Ameko's, since he was apparently so in love with her. Come on, Nii san broke Mother's no-dating-until-you're-sixteen rule for her! 

But that level of affection was probably why Itachi was so quiet on the way back. When Sasuke passed Nii san's room later that evening, the door was partly open. Big brother held the photo of him, Shisui and Ameko, staring at it all misty eyed - Sasuke recognized the frame from where he stood. Itachi's thumb lightly grazed the side of the picture Ameko was on, as if a mere wish could summon her back from death. 

It was hard to imagine loving someone in a non family way, or why Itachi would feel that way for _Ameko_, of all people. And shouldn't their parents' deaths matter more than hers? 

Supposedly, he'd understand when he was older. But Rin was the only girl worth hanging out with, and although it would be sad if she died, staring at her with such gooey eyed adoration sounded kinda gross. 

Being unable to understand romantic feelings didn't change the fact that big brother was sad, though. Nii san tried so hard to smile, but there was still so much weariness trailing after every word, every gesture, even when Itachi claimed to have rested enough. Misery flickered in between moments of fake cheer, and the calm, solemn way Itachi conducted himself yesterday. 

Even so, Nii san still made the effort to talk as they went through their long list of chores after they got home from the Inuzukas. For the first time in ages, big brother seemed to show a genuine desire to be there, instead of rushing off to some other task he deemed more important. Yet, their conversations felt stilted. 

Neither of them could pretend their lives weren't shattered. Even so, Itachi carried on, grieving inside but outwardly remaining a good ninja that worked to track Madara down and avenge the Clan. Sasuke, on the other hand, could barely pull himself out of bed to get ready for his first day back at school. 

He couldn't even finish all the homework that accumulated during his 'time off'. Hopefully, Sensei could be convinced to give him an extension on his deadlines. If not, well...Sasuke didn't know what he'd do. 

Skipping class sounded so good right now, but that would only raise questions, forcing him to explain himself and dredge up his grief. People didn't understand how hard losing the Clan was. So, instead of being helpful, they would talk to Itachi and make him worry, or even punish him for not being a good guardian. Nii san didn't need things to get worse like that. 

Ready or not, Sasuke had to copy Itachi and start moving on, even if he didn't feel like it or have anything worth working toward anymore. So, he was going back to the Academy today without complaint. 

Familiar footsteps treaded the worn planks behind him. Instinctively, Sasuke glanced back. 

Rin studied him with her dark green eyes, a solemn, vaguely sad expression on her face. She wore a dark green shirt today, with khaki capris. Her backpack hung from her shoulders, sagging a bit since it was an oversized hand me down from some older kid. 

Time to see if his classmates were as rude as nosy Kiba was the last few weeks. With a sigh, Sasuke sat up, standing and slinging his own backpack over his shoulder. He greeted Rin's sad, worried expression with a small, brief smile before they silently headed out of the desolate Uchiha Compound. 

… 

Rin shivered, folding her arms as a breeze swept past. Silence crowded the air as she and Sasuke left the pond and entered the Uchiha district's empty streets. The fresh morning air felt peaceful, but also lifeless. A few weeks ago, members of his extended family would have wished them a good day, but now the only greetings came from memories. 

Awkwardness hung in the quiet between them. It wasn't usually like this. Normally they'd be chatting about something, or abstain from conversation in favor of enjoying the morning. 

Instead, everything just felt awkward. What was she supposed to say, after the hell Sasuke went through? Should she apologize for not talking to him after the funeral? 

She did want to speak to him then, but lacked the words. If she couldn't say the right thing, wouldn't that just make things worse? 

That thought felt crippling, even though her silence was probably bad, too. If Father and Mother were still alive, they would have coached her on what to say, then dragged her over to give her sympathies. 

But they weren't here, leaving her helpless in these situations, and it was hard. 

Rin tugged on the straps of her backpack, trying to shift it to a more comfortable position. "So, um…" she began, fidgeting. 

'Say something. Anything. Don't open your mouth and embarrass yourself if you aren't even going to talk!' 

She let out a short breath and plowed on. "Naruto kun says he beat your record for pushups, and that Kiba kun beat your best run time." 

Sasuke blinked slightly, then shrugged. Anxiety twinged in Rin's ribcage. Stupid, stupid. That was so random and awkward. As if Sasuke cared about Naruto and Kiba right now… But most other potential topics sounded just as petty. Right now, the only important subject was his family, and wouldn't mentioning them just remind him of what he lost? 

And, well, Naruto and Kiba did take to bugging her the last week or so, asking when her 'boyfriend' would be back and bragging that they'd kick his butt next time their class held a sparring match. Maybe her words could count as a fair warning? 

Frowning, Rin stole another glance at Sasuke, who finally opened his mouth. "That's fine. I'll just have to march over there and beat them again." The confident smirk he tried plastering on his face did little to hide the abnormally low amount of enthusiasm in those words. And then he just sort of slipped back into that withdrawn state of his. 

This wasn't normal for him. Of course he wasn't going to be happy right now, but as his friend, shouldn't she know how to cheer him up at least a bit? 

Sasuke was competitive, though, so maybe things revolving around that actually _would_ help. Biting her lip, Rin reached out and gave his shoulder a sudden, gentle poke. 

He looked at her, blinking in surprise, and Rin let a tiny smirk cross her face. "Race ya!" she challenged before sprinting off. 

A split second of silence followed before the playful accusation of "Cheater!" rang out of Sasuke mouth. Footsteps pounded lightly behind her, rapidly gaining in spite of her head start. 

His voice still sounded less enthusiastic than usual, and maybe this was just a useless way to distract from her lack of ability to help him, but at least there was still a hint of amusement in his tone. 

…... 

Rin gritted her teeth, surging ahead as they neared the Academy gates. Sasuke left her line of sight as she passed him, which, at this point, meant she'd beat him. He must be feeling pretty awful still. Normally, the fact that he was in the grade above hers ensured his victory, since it meant he was older and faster. He never lost on purpose just to be nice and let her win, so sadness must have kept him from putting his usual effort into winning. 

A frown marred her lips as their finish line, school yard's entrance, loomed above. Something snagged her ankles, and she yelped as it stole her balance and pitched her forward onto her hands and knees. 

A rushing sound was the only warning before cold water plummeted down, stiffening her shoulders with a frigid, icy jolt. Sasuke halted beside her as she shoved herself to her feet. Moisture dripped off her hair, into her eyes and mouth, forcing her to blink and sputter. 

She wiped her face and looked around, trying to pinpoint the attacker. A bucket hung from a rope tied to the top gatepost, swaying subtly as if to admit its part in the prank. 

There was a large tree by the gates, the nearest place the culprit could hide. Pranksters usually stayed as close to the crime scene as possible so they could laugh over the aftermath. 

She stomped over to the tree and peered into its dense green canopy, her surprise now fully mutated into anger. "What was that for?!" she yelled. How dare he do this? She had enough upsetting things to think about, so why did he have to add another one? And yes, 'he', because the usual pranksters in their age range were boys. 

Eventually, the thick branches rustled and a familiar blond kid poked his head out of the foliage, looking amused and embarrassed at the same time. 

Naruto. Of course. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Sasuke ground out, taking a few steps forward as he glared at the other boy. 

A mocking grin spread across the prankster's face. "Well, I was trying to soak _you_. Didn't count on a little kid beating you here, though." 

Little kid? Seriously? Her jaw clenched before she opened her mouth, but Sasuke spoke first. 

"Look at the mess you made, Loser." Sasuke replied, sneering at Naruto as he gestured in her direction. He was getting angry for her sake. That was nice of him, but that didn't make the ordeal any less embarrassing. 

Infuriating as it was to hear Naruto call her a little kid, the insult only hurt because now she vaguely felt like one. She probably looked pathetic, enough that her friend felt the need to shield her like an injured baby bird. 

Her pride stung almost as bad as her skinned up hands and knees. Sasuke's well intentioned yelling just called more attention to what happened, and the only saving grace was that everyone else was already in the building. 

Naruto's grin faded as he stepped out onto a thick limb and peered down as if evaluating whether to climb down or jump. "Well, at least I didn't use paint." 

Well, yeah, it really was good that he only used water, but that didn't mean it was ok for him to dump an entire bucket of it on her. This wasn't a good way to start the morning at all, just another reminder of all the ways she fell short... 

Sasuke folded his arms and narrowed his eyes. "The point remains." 

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, well, anyway, you should probably go before you're late," he replied, climbing a few branches lower before hopping down to the ground. 

Sasuke turned back around, expression faltering when his eyes met hers, making his normally stoic demeanor look awkward and uncertain. Did she really look _that_ upset? 

"Need help?" he finally inquired. 

As good as it was for him to ask, there probably wasn't anything he could do. Frustration and embarrassment welled up, threatening to rise until it boiled over. Since birth, the importance of giving her comrades and superiors the right impression was thoroughly impressed on her. At the very least, how others perceived her influenced how well they would accept her in the future. 

Yet here she was, completely undermined by the fact that she let the class clown catch her by surprise and humiliate her. By now, she was so angry and embarrassed that she just wanted to crawl off and hide somewhere she could cry or yell or...something. 

She couldn't actually hide, but she could try to get cleaned up before anyone else saw her. 

Yeah, that sounded nice. 

Sasuke looked at her expectantly, waiting. She needed to answer, even if she felt too upset to talk. "No thanks. Just get to class," she mumbled as she turned away, not bothering to look back as she jogged toward the school. 

A low grumble sounded from Sasuke, followed by Naruto yelling defensively. "_You_ were supposed to stumble into that trap. It's not my fault you came in after her!" 

"Che! So you can't even plan a prank right, Dobe?" 

Their voices faded off as Rin opened the main door and, upon seeing no teachers, ran quietly to the bathroom and shoved open the door, letting it swing shut behind her. She halted in front of the mirror and stared. 

Her wet hair clung to her face, darker than normal. Her green shirt was in a similar state. She wanted to think that her expression was neutral, but something in her demeanor was so stormy there was no hope of completely masking her turmoil. No wonder Sasuke looked a bit uncomfortable before offering help earlier. 

She snatched a wad of paper towels from the dispenser and pressed them to her shirt. Going to class looking like a drowned cat was the surest way to get made fun of by a student, or scolded by an adult. Living alone as she did meant that having anything out of order got her reprimanded, or warned that she'd be put in an orphanage unless she was more careful. 

Yeah, looking weak like this, showing that she was unable to avoid trouble...nothing was working in her favor at all this morning. 

The green fabric still looked pretty damp, but wasn't wet enough that the paper towel actually absorbed anything. Frowning, Rin started working on her hair instead. 

A hint of red caught her eye, drawing attention to her knees. Blood peeked out from between bits of scraped skin. It didn't look bad, but fixing it would make her even later than she might already be. Nara sensei wouldn't take it as an excuse, since the old man thought students should arrive early enough to handle such issues before class time. Or, better yet, avoid getting into mischief in the first place. 

Gingerly, she set the paper towel against the cuts and soaked up the ugliest of it. How much time was left? There wasn't a clock in here. Helpless anger clawed inside her chest. This wasn't her fault, but she'd face some consequence for being late anyway, even if it was just having everyone look askance at her. Naruto probably managed to reach class on time, though, and that wasn't fair at all. 

He was so rude. That was probably why Father and Mother told her not to hang out with him. Although Rin was born in Konoha, her parents were ninja that sought asylum here. The village higher ups were obligated to keep an eye on their family. 

Letting Naruto turn her into a troublemaker wouldn't exactly have helped her parents win the Council's trust. 

Lot of good avoiding Naruto did when he made her look bad anyway, though, especially since he managed to do so even when she wasn't his target. 

Walking over to the sink, she turned on the water and winced as the blood rinsed off her cut up palms. 

First day back after Sasuke was orphaned, and Naruto wanted to make fun of him with a practical joke? What was wrong with him? At least falling victim to the prank shielded her friend from it, and maybe sorta made up for her inadequate response to his family's death. 

Seriously, the first words out of her mouth that morning were about Naruto and Kiba's petty rivalry with Sasuke, as if that actually mattered right now. She only mentioned it because she couldn't think of anything else to say, but still. 

She turned off the faucet and dried her hands. Her hair and shirt were still wet, but there wasn't much else to fix. There couldn't be much time left, assuming she was lucky enough to not already be late. A sharp sigh escaped her as she turned, pulled open the bathroom door and strode into the hall. 

Sensei would scowl at her in front of everyone. Dread surfaced now that she was heading straight for that, a scene that was guaranteed to lower everyone's opinion and make her an even bigger target for the more snide students. 

Her heart sped up as she stopped in front of her classroom, not processing the words of Nara sensei's lecture as they drifted through the doorway. Maybe it'd be possible to just...sneak in? She chewed her lip as she debated, glancing up at the clock on the other side of the room. 

Three minutes late. And technically, students were asked to be in class five minutes early, even if they wouldn't be punished for not doing so. 

Sensei turned to write something on the board and caught sight of her. He stared for a moment before narrowing his eyes in disapproval at her sodden state. "'Bout time you showed up." 

"Yes, Sensei, I'm sorry." she replied politely. But it was all Naruto's fault! If it weren't for him, she'd be a few minutes early! And normally, she was. Why couldn't the teacher be more lenient, just this once? 

Her face burned as everyone looked her way, their various reactions accompanying the teacher's disapproval. She stared at the ground to avoid their stares. Even after doing nothing too horribly wrong, this morning still caved in around her. Her jaw clenched. 

One of the other kids snickered, drawing her gaze. Daisuke. But the teacher ignored him, eyeing her for a moment before gesturing for her to take a seat. 

She lowered her head and rushed to her usual spot, slumping down onto the bench as the teacher continued. 

"Now, class, let's review. What are the four primary signs of chakra exhaustion?" 

Quietly, Rin unzipped her tattered backpack and reached for her textbook. She pulled it out halfway and noted the water spots marring the top of her school supplies. Frowning, she set the large volume down in front of her. 

She opened the pages slowly, noting how the first inch of every one was already wrinkled and fragile. 'Stupid jerk,' Rin groused darkly. 


	4. Chapter 4

Snow and ice danced between Haku’s fingers, and he grinned as he bid it to collect in a loose wad in his palms.

Footsteps crunched in the snow behind him, ones too light to be Father’s. He released the frigid little pile and grinned as he turned around. Mother smiled softly as she walked further out into the snowy expanse of their family’s farmyard -- probably to say it was time for dinner.

“Kaa san!” Haku shouted happily as he ran up to her. “Kaa san, look!” He held out his hands, proudly performing the same trick for her, much like during the spring when he would show off some weird bug he found. Gentle white flakes whirled joyfully between them as Mother’s gaze darkened.

She slapped him right across the face. 

Haku flinched, blinking as he slowly cupped his stinging cheek. His brain reeled in surprise, frozen by fear and uncertainty. Then, her expression registered -- the way it shifted into something foreign and almost malevolent. It was...scary. She never lashed out that suddenly, so why…?

Hesitantly, he glanced up, too stunned to do much else.

Mother stood stiffly, fingertips trembling as she stared, eyes brimming with tears. Something in her broke, mutating her sudden anger into what appeared to be fragility and helplessness.

She collapsed to her knees and pulled him into a desperate, terrified embrace. Ragged breaths rattled in and out of her lungs. “Not you too…” she sobbed quietly, over and over.

Her arms were warm around him as she shook and cried. Her long, dark hair curtained the corner of his left eye as he rested his head on her shoulder. Silence surrounded them, and the yard behind her stood pristine under its snowy blanket, edged in dark, foreboding trees. 

All there was to do was stand there in confusion, listening and fearing. Mother never struck him unless he did something really bad. That trick with the snow was evil, and he had no idea why.

Eventually, she took a deep, quiet breath and leaned back, resting her hands on his shoulders and staring imperatively into his eyes. “Don’t ever do that again,” she said, quietly and desperately. “Don’t even mention this to anyone. Normal people can’t do those things…”

Her eyes glistened with sorrow. Sorrow for him, and something far, far deeper that she would probably never share. 

‘I made Mother feel this way…’ Somehow. Tears pricked his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kaa san.” The words came out in a small, terrified whisper.

“It’s ok. But never do that again, or even talk about it. Especially around your Tou san…”

Haku nodded weakly. But...Father? Why not Father?

She smiled weakly. “Thank you. You’re a good boy.” She released him, wiping her tears and taking a few calming breaths. Her smile faltered repeatedly, as if she was trying to look a certain way. That effort didn’t stop until she plastered on a huge smile that made it look like nothing happened at all.

…...

Everything seemed...off limits now. Playing outside felt like a bad idea, and Mother didn’t encourage it anymore, as if there was some unspoken avoidance of anything even remotely associated with the incident a few days ago.

Instead, Haku leaned boredly on the window sill, chin resting on folded arms. Father's been oddly distant lately, brushing off Mother’s attempts to make him happy. In fact, getting him to talk at all seemed nearly impossible.

Occasionally, a small splash sounded from the sink as Mother washed the dishes. The frigid world outside seemed forbidding, but maybe when spring came and chased away all reminders of the way he got in trouble, he would actually feel like playing again.

Movement flickered at the right edge of the yard, drawing his gaze. Metal clinked and scraped behind him as Mother shifted the dishes around and started scouring the soup pot. 

There were people walking purposefully toward the house, led by Father and carrying farm tools.

“Kaa san, why are the neighbors here?” They had scythes and hammers, even though there were no crops to deal with. Father said nothing about any repair work that needed to be handled. And they weren’t joking and laughing like they normally did.

Silence dropped like a heavy stone as Mother stopped scrubbing. The floorboards creaked as she crossed the room to stand beside him. Father and the others were almost at the house already.

Fingers closed tensely around his shoulder. “Haku kun…” Mother trailed off in a helpless whisper as Father clambered up the steps.

Unease paced uncertainly in his mind. Something horrible was happening, but he didn’t know what it was or what to do about it. 

The door swung inward and struck the wall behind it. Mother ran up to Father as he stepped in holding a scythe.

“Taro, Taro san, please!”

She knelt quickly, tugging at Father’s hand, terror laced through her trembling limbs as she peered up at him, begging and crying.

Father shoved her away and swung the sickle. Haku looked away and screamed before the blow landed.

His heart pounded frantically. Yelling, clattering chaos went on for seconds that felt like minutes, until it turned into footsteps running across the wooden floor -- toward him. He stopped hiding his eyes.

Mother lay in a battered heap on the other side of the roughly hewn kitchen table...a table Father made for her birthday last year, now knocked askew as if it meant nothing.

Father rushed forward, scythe bloody. Haku stumbled backward on weak limbs, knocking over a few clay pots as he retreated toward the wall. “Tou san!”

There was no way out. Something horrible danced in Father’s eyes, something that always lurked deep in his demeanor when he talked about certain topics. And now, it was like all that evil came out at once. 

Yet...although Father was intimidating sometimes, he never looked at his son with such hatred and disregard.

“Tou san…” Was this even Father in the first place? He almost seemed possessed by some wicked yokai. Or maybe, Father was always like this, a malevolent thing now showing its colors for the first time.

Rough fingers seized his hair and dragged him to his feet. His scalp hurt, and running was impossible now. “Stop,” Haku whispered, helpless tears pooling in his eyes.

Father drew back his scythe. 

“Stop!”

But Father didn’t.

“STOP IT!” Wood and ice crunched as the words screamed from Haku’s throat. In a split second, frigid wind rushed by as Father dropped him.

Shouts of surprise and pain filled the air as cold white stalactites burst through the floors and walls, ripping everything apart.

Then, nothing.

Haku sank to the ground, shivering. The breeze buffeted a scrap of curtain snagged on a splintered wall. Corpses splayed between debris and sharp, cruel ice. Cold, still. 

Blood crept down some of the icicles jutting up from the floor. Father slumped against a spike of ice stabbing through a crimson hole in his side. His red slathered sickle lay on the ground beneath limp, empty hands.

This place...he couldn’t stay. Not with these corpses and the aftermath of this...incident he didn’t even understand. Dazedly, Haku found his coat and pulled it on to hide from the chill working through his bones. He put on his shoes and stumbled out of the house, panicky breaths heaving in and out as snow crunched beneath his feet. 

After a while, he glanced back. The house was a mess of wood and frozen spines.

Shivering, he continued on. Alone.

…...

Uneasy whispers spread among the townsfolk as weeks passed -- mutterings of a farmhouse shredded by bloody spikes of ice.

Haku heard them while waiting by the garbage cans for something that would calm his incessant hunger pangs. Good thing Father and Mother practically never brought him here, otherwise someone might have recognized him and figured out that the carnage was his fault.

A quiet thunk sounded as someone passed by, tossing a small sack of refuse in the bin. Haku scrambled to his feet and started rooting around the bag.

Nothing more than meatless bones.

Snuffling noises made him turn to the right. A pale, mangy dog rooted through some debris further along the wall. It took something into its mouth and started chewing. Apparently it had something worth eating. Haku rushed up to it and gave it a harsh kick.

The animal yelped as it stumbled onto the ground a few feet away. But why should some stupid dog have food when he didn’t?

Feverishly, his hands dug through the spoils. There were a few chunks of moldy bread, which he immediately gulped down. A low snarl drew his gaze, and the dog looked at him with flattened ears as it climbed weakly to its feet. Two tiny shapes scampered up to the scrawny beast, one white and the other brown.

The pups nuzzled the adult, wagging their tails even though they didn’t look much healthier. For a minute, the dog stared at Haku, as if deciding whether to start a confrontation.

‘Go ahead,’ Haku thought brashly. The soft, sad part of him didn’t like that idea, but the bitter, hungry side of him didn’t care. Fighting for his life wouldn’t make him worse off than he already was. And he already hit the dog once.

But, the beast turned and stumbled away with its children. Good riddance.

Haku devoured every last crumb he stole, then walked back to his spot, sitting and drawing his knees up to his chest. Having something in his stomach made it easier to think, but without anything to do, he could only dwell on that mutt’s defiant gaze, and the way its pups bounded so happily beside it. Stupid animal.

But then, even that mangy stray had a family that loved it. Mother loved him, too, even though she slapped him, otherwise she wouldn’t have hugged him and warned him the way she did.

Yet she was still gone. He was still alone and didn’t matter to anyone. He buried his face in his arms and tried to shut out the world. Maybe he should just sleep now. He already ate, even if it wasn’t enough, and it would be nice to forget about everything for the next few hours --

A lone pair of footsteps halted before him. Nothing landed in the garbage can, and there were no walking away sounds.

Haku looked up, blinking as his eyes adjusted to daylight. A tall man with short black hair stood there, face half covered in bandages.

The stranger knelt, gaze harsh and penetrating, though that harshness seemed to be the man’s nature, instead of the result of anger. “Not the greatest place to sleep, Boy,” he admonished.

Well, there didn't seem to be a better option, and staying near the only source of food he had seemed like the best idea. He _did_ find places to hide during the night, at least. But contradicting an adult was the easiest way to get yelled at.

“Y-yeah,” he replied uncertainly. Why was this guy talking to him, anyway?

The man extended his arm, lean and toned, with a small bundle in hand. Haku stared. Father and some of the neighbors were the most muscular people he's seen until now, due to their long days working in the fields. But, this man was on a whole other level, in spite of looking light and agile. Just who was he?

Hesitantly, Haku reached for the offered package and opened it. Fresh bread, sliced in two halves with a thin slab of meat wedged between. The freshness wafted gently from the meal, making his gut twist hungrily.

His mouth watered, and then he started gulping down the plain sandwich.

“Brats like you won’t be needed by anyone and will starve like dogs.”

Haku paused and glanced up. There was still a bite or two left. The stranger didn’t have much of an expression, though it was hard to tell for sure when the lower half of his face was hidden. Still, all the man did was watch and evaluate with sharp precision, and his voice remained calm and factual, not concerned like Mother’s would have been.

Still, he couldn’t be angry at the man for telling the truth, so he only smiled. The man’s eyes widened, and a few breaths of silence passed before he spoke again.

“Kid...Do you want to be needed by someone? Would you be willing to give up everything to follow me?”

Haku turned back to the food. Eat before answering. Don’t risk losing the only decent meal for weeks. He finished, then looked back up at the man. Follow him...like an apprentice? Apprentices were well fed and taught how to make a living, which didn’t sound so bad.

Don’t talk to strangers, Mother always said. But it was too late for that, and she wasn’t here to scold him. And how could things get any worse than they already were? Being able to eat unspoiled meat and bread on a regular basis _had_ to be a step up.

And, maybe, he just wanted to trail the only person that bothered to spend a minute helping and talking with him.

“Yes.”

……

There was barely any light left before the stranger spoke again.

“Keep that ice magic of yours a secret, Boy. Not everyone’s as tolerant of kekkei genkai as me.”

Haku blinked, nearly stopping in his tracks. ‘Ice magic? How does he know?’

But, all he said was “Hai.”

His stomach ached as they walked. That was way more food than he’s had in ages, and it didn’t feel good in his gut. Maybe he’d vomit before they got to...wherever they were going.

Come to think of it, not knowing their destination could be bad. But adults were supposed to help kids, so surely that’s what this person was doing? Then again, Father and the neighbors tried to kill him, even though they were the absolute last people that should try.

But if this man did have ill intent, he was more than capable of ending any escape attempts, and there was nowhere to run _to._

Snow began drifting from the sky when they entered a dense stand of evergreens. The stranger led him until they reached a narrow tunnel mouth and walked inside.

Haku flinched in surprise as a guard seemed to melt up from the ground with a venomous glare. That glare met the unflinching gaze of the man that fed him earlier. After a few moments, the challenger faded back into a puddle of water, letting them pass.

Minutes later, they reached a roughly hewn double door. Its frame had a coat of dull, chipped paint.

Unceremoniously, the stranger opened the entrance and strode in. Several faces looked up with narrowed eyes from their own little niches in the room. Dim lighting showed vague outlines of cots lined up between the row of bunks along each wall. 

Surely the man was aware of all the resentful stares he received, yet he just plopped down on one of the lower bunks and pulled off his shoes. “There’s your spot, Boy. I don’t care when you sleep, but I expect you to be up at dawn every day.” He gestured to the bunk above his.

Haku used to rise at dawn every day for chores, so that was exactly the same as it was at home. Only, Mother usually forced him to go to bed a couple hours after dinner. Maybe that’s when he’d sleep from now on, too, since that’s probably what she’d want.

That was assuming he’d be able to sleep in the first place. A room full of scowling faces eyed him reproachfully as he climbed up to his bunk and sat down. 

…...

Zabuza was the name of the man that saved him, and even though he trained Haku, he never asked to be called ‘sensei’.

Demon of the Bloody Mist, Zabuza was labeled, and he assigned several daily chores, along with a training regiment that was to be finished by the time Zabuza returned from wherever he went off to every morning. After that, the man evaluated Haku’s progress and corrected his errors before allowing him to eat and sleep for the night.

Unlike Mother and even Father at times, Zabuza wasn't warm and friendly; he was distant and scary.

But, that wasn’t so bad, because those sharp edges to his personality kept everyone else’s hostility at bay. All the Kiri shinobi hated Zabuza for some reason, but left him alone because he was far more dangerous than they were. Some of that hatred bled over onto Haku, but so did the wide berth that most gave his mentor.

Everything the man did was harsh, brusque and factual in some way. Now and then he would do something nice, like compliment him or pat him on the head when he did something praiseworthy. Yet, even those gestures seemed standoffish and deliberate, driving toward some sort of goal.

He had a clue as to why a few months later, when Zabuza came back early to find Haku in his usual spot, training away from the Kirigakure shinobi barracks. 

Zabuza stood on the tree covered hill, looking down into the valley and village below. When approached, he spoke. “Haku kun, bad news. I have to leave Mizu tonight.”

Haku stiffened, looking up at the man’s face and trying to discern something from his unreadable expression. What did leaving mean in the grand scheme of things? Did he just come here to say goodbye? 

‘What will happen if I am left alone again?’

“But, I will be back to rule this land someday,” Zabuza continued. “I have no use for friendship, what I really need is--”

“I know, Zabuza san,” Haku interrupted, smiling. If Zabuza was launching into a speech about what he needed, it was because he planned on taking him along, else he would have simply left without a word. Still, just in case, he plowed on, not wanting to give the man a chance to reject him. “It's alright. I am your weapon, use me as you see fit.” 

‘I’m your weapon.’ At the heart of it, those words explained the reality of everything Zabuza did and said. In a way, that made a comforting amount of sense, at least compared to Father’s behavior.

According to Zabuza, Father’s hatred came from the fact that Haku had a kekkei genkai, and nothing could change that. It was certainly possible to abstain from using it, but Mother’s death showed that wasn’t enough.

Zabuza, on the other hand, accepted Haku’s ability and even valued it. The man never pretended to care, in spite of the flickers of kindness he showed. But he’d always need Haku, so long as he was useful. All he had to do was work hard, stay loyal, and Zabuza would be pleased.

Even if that merely made him a valuable tool, at least he would always know where he stood -- and could control whether his current guardian deemed him ‘acceptable’. He lacked that knowledge and control with his parents, and it almost got him killed.

Regardless, being valued by someone as uncaring as Zabuza was an accomplishment in and of itself. Furthermore, the man never doled out praise lightly. He was quite willing to give blunt criticisms whenever Haku did something incorrectly, so even if praise was given for the sake of manipulation, each compliment still remained a truthful assessment.

Ultimately, that all meant Zabuza wanted him to come. And Zabuza wouldn't want something unless he needed it. Why else would he show up here and start off with that speech of his? Out of everyone, _Haku_ was the one Zabuza trusted enough to bring along on his escape.

And Haku craved that approval, so much. Father and Mother were gone, and the rest of the world was hostile. Zabuza, such as he was, stood out as the only option for survival and happiness.

He didn’t want to stay in Kiri’s shinobi barracks by himself. There was nowhere else to go, and certainly no place that would bring him joy. Time to pay Zabuza back for all the safety, training and purpose he provided, no matter what it took.

The bandages on Zabuza’s face shifted, indicating that he was smiling under that pale mask. “You’re a good boy.”

Haku’s heart twinged at that. That was what Mother said after he agreed to hide his kekkei genkai. The man’s words weren’t surprising, but they left a hollow ache where Mother used to be. She always seemed to want him around simply because he happened to be her child, not because she wanted to use him. 

That did absolutely no good now. But as long as Zabuza needed him, he would not be discarded, and that was all that mattered.

…...

Haku knelt beside his latest kill. The corpse wasn’t much bigger than him, so it might be worth stealing the dead one’s uniform. 

Gently, he pulled the unnerving porcelain mask off the hunter nin’s face. Wide, sightless eyes greeted him, and he glanced away, taking that moment to catalog the locations of his comrades. No one stood in the immediate vicinity, so he closed the dead man’s eyes, keeping them from staring into nowhere.

Robbing corpses was so much easier when he could pretend they were asleep.

Sometimes the roughs Zabuza recruited still jeered when he showed slivers of kindness like this. Zabuza didn’t mind such altruism as long as it didn’t cause problems, though. The man wasn’t given to sentimentality, but allowed it in Haku since it fueled his abilities as a tool.

A couple weeks ago, he killed one of Zabuza’s rogues for harassing a young noblewoman in the caravan they destroyed and robbed. When Zabuza’s subordinates found her, they laughed at her terror as they dragged her off. Her desperate screams reminded him too much of Mother in her last moments, and he had to make it stop.

Without warning, he stabbed the most wretched nuke nin in the group. By now, experience showed that simply telling them to quit tended to be detrimental. Mere words were easy to ignore, and demands for kindness were usually deemed ‘weak’. Proving he had the means to enforce his orders _before_ he doled them out was far better. 

And so, that woman was left to her own devices. She stumbled off, alive and unharmed. Lucky lady. Hopefully she made it somewhere safe, even if she would be left grieving for whatever she lost during the raid.

There were protests from the rest of the rogues, but a mere look silenced those. Grudgingly or not, they now obeyed Haku, and that was exactly what Zabuza needed. The man couldn’t watch these people at all times, and needed someone to enforce his will when he left to run some errand or other.

Haku began to understand that months after they left Kiri and traveled west, picking up stray bandits and nuke nin as they went. He stood by Zabuza all that time, a little shadow that trained, did chores, and helped fight hunter nin.

Their group eventually started hovering around Nami no Kuni. Zabuza said the area was perfect since it was too poor to consistently hire ninja to patrol it, and the area was so dense with forest that enemies would have a hard time finding their camp.

Within their relatively hidden, semi permanent camp, he had more time to practice Ice Release. Between training sessions, he hunted, hauled in firewood and cooked.

Now and then, some of the men hurled out complaints: “This is all the food you can get us, Girlie?” “What's wrong with you, wench?!”

The first time this happened, he indignantly paused, wooden bowl half way to his mouth. “I’m a boy!”

Most of them believed him. A few didn’t, and their taunts worsened until one day, as Haku brought in a load of wood, a rogue nearly shoved him off his feet. He yelled angrily as another one grabbed his hair. 

Training didn't help at that moment. That was for when they needed to kill enemies, not in moments like this when he simply needed to get away. So he kicked and struggled, vaguely noting that he now had more presence of mind to lash out than when Father was about to murder him.

Suddenly, the pain in Haku’s scalp ceased as the nuke nin cried out and let go.

Springing back a few paces, Haku looked up to see Zabuza yanking back the rogue’s head. Without hesitation, the black haired man slit the nuke nin’s throat.

Zabuza let his victim collapse as he calmly cleaned off the kunai he used. A few moments of awkward silence followed. Would Zabuza scold him for needing help? That didn’t usually happen, but...

The bandages over the man’s mouth shifted just the smallest bit, indicating a smile. “They are rogue ninja because the effort needed to maintain such damaged tools is too much.” He gave Haku’s shoulder a firm pat. “If you have to, kill a couple of them to make them fall in line.”

‘Damaged tools?’ Zabuza talked like that all the time, but what did he mean in this case? The rogues were tough and came in handy when fighting hunter nin.

The issue turned out to be more complicated than that, though, as seen when Zabuza started telling him to punish their more rebellious subordinates. These rogues almost seemed _wired_ to cause problems. They resented orders, attempted to kill Zabuza on multiple occasions, and were needlessly cruel. Harsh as Zabuza was, there was some semblance of purpose behind his behavior. Their recruits, on the other hand, usually just seemed to like hurting people.

Getting them to cooperate was annoying at best. Zabuza must have meant that these rogues were rejected by their homelands because they were useless as tools. If a tool kept deviating from what the wielder wanted, why wouldn’t it get thrown away?

And there lay an important reminder: Haku was still a tool that reinforced whatever Zabuza wanted. He needed to remain useful.

That explained the intent behind giving Haku permission to kill their subordinates. The man was testing Haku, manipulating him into becoming an ominous dog that would lunge and snap when asked. And Zabuza entrusted him with more responsibility and power each time he slayed on cue.

But life was better that way, so once Haku found Zabuza’s goal, he poured his energy into fulfilling it. He had a place and a purpose now, and so long as that remained, he was safe at the top of the group where he was allowed to protect himself with his full power.

Each time he rose higher in the ranks was like a drug, addicting him to the improved life he earned and would allow no one to take away.

‘So far, so good,’ he thought before setting the hunter nin’s mask aside and removing the weapon pouch from the corpse’s waist. This shinobi fought with desperation that only came from having something worth living for. Did this guy have someone waiting for him back home? A younger sibling, perhaps?

Haku’s hands tensed as he started searching the carcass for weapons. He might have just orphaned someone, and that someone could end up starving on the streets instead of finding a mentor like Zabuza.

Yet, in spite of knowing that, there was no denying the fact that Haku would do the same thing again if need be. His desire to live and repay Zabuza outweighed the sympathy he had for others.

And his abilities instilled so much hatred and fear... Maybe he _was_ a monster, and Father was right to try and kill him.

A shout stabbed the air, and several chakra signatures shot into Haku’s perception. He jumped to his feet, ready to draw a kunai.

Chaos broke out as men in green jonin vests charged through the camp, splitting the rogues into smaller groups. Some of Zabuza’s subordinates tried to run, only to be cut down.

So these ninja weren’t just here to chase them off. An enemy charged Haku’s way, and he blocked a blow with a kunai.

Zabuza wasn’t here and left him in charge. Haku assigned the sentries, and they failed to give a decent warning. If he didn’t fix this, his mentor’s goal would be destroyed, and it would be all his fault.

Ducking under one enemy’s arm, he lunged forward and jabbed an icicle in the next attacker’s throat. Many more replaced him, however. 

As well as he defended himself, their superior numbers forced him to retreat from Zabuza’s men until he fought alone, a flurry of ice senbon and chaos dancing protectively around him.

One enemy gave him extra trouble, a gray haired man that covered the lower half of his face and hid one eye under his hitai ate. 

The masked one uncovered his eye, and the black shapes surrounding its pupil spun almost hypnotically.

And then, everything went dark.

……

Konoha was really the most frustrating place to be captured by. 

At first, it was just weird. Haku didn’t understand why their Kage tried to be kind and helpful and protective of him. He was an enemy, a dangerous one at that, yet they offered him mercy and sent him to the Academy to learn with kids far below his combat level.

Hearing the most basic of battle moves explained over and over to these apparently untalented students drove him crazy, especially when paired with the admittedly difficult math lessons that had no relevance to shinobi life.

Zabuza never taught anything unnecessary. Struggling through arithmetic that he never needed even while living the rough life of a nuke nin was absolutely infuriating...particularly when his weak ‘classmates’ actually managed to dance circles around him on this subject. And he was apparently in the highest grade the Academy offered.

The Academy also talked about odd things, like the Will of Fire and protecting the village and the next generation. Maybe they said such soft and ridiculous things because, if they lived in a challenging place like Kiri, they would have all died a long time ago.

Dwelling here was almost like life before Father killed Mother, except he was now well fed, among strangers and unhappy. Konoha’s citizens complained about petty things, but even if Haku hated it here, he couldn’t help but think that these people had no idea how good they had it.

After a few weeks of compliance, he decided he waited long enough for them to drop their guard and stepped out of his apartment in the middle of the night.

He took two strides before glancing down the street and noticing that one of the trees had a different shape than it did during the day. Squinting for a better look, he realized there was actually a man’s silhouette leaning against the trunk.

And he had the same hairstyle as the gray haired guy that captured him in the first place.

Hand curling tensely into a fist, he resisted the urge to summon an ice senbon and creep up on the man. This enemy was a step above the others and would see him coming no matter how he approached.

So the Hokage wasn't as naive as he seemed. And the gray haired shinobi probably stayed in plain sight as a warning. 

Obviously, it would take far longer to escape than he thought. 

While biding his time, Haku bored himself to death at school and did what he could to get these people to underestimate him. He already showed a certain amount of skill during the battle he was captured in, and part of him couldn’t stand looking completely incompetent, but aside from adhering to those factors, he did everything possible to look average.

Especially in front of the tutors/spies they assigned to him after regular class. Maybe eventually they would grow lax and assign weaker shinobi to guard him. 

Months came and went, and the Hokage summoned him, saying that he would be allowed to join a genin team and train for missions early. After hiding his agitation behind a smile and polite thank you, Haku thought it over.

What were they playing at now? The gray haired ANBU still guarded his apartment, and Haku was still a dangerous kekkei genkai user that had absolutely no reason to be loyal to them.

But then, he had to remember that Konoha didn’t mind and even hungered for members with kekkei genkai. They were probably trying to use him as soon as possible. This reminder that they were trapping him here instead of letting him go back to his mentor made him bristle. He existed to be Zabuza’s weapon, not theirs. To know that they secretly insisted otherwise was absolutely infuriating.

Too bad Father and Mother never lived here, though. Being born here would have made him and his family as weak as the rest of Konoha’s citizens, but at least he wouldn’t have ever had to hide his ice jutsu.

That alone was a luxury Mother never had.

Thoughts like that seeped in whenever he let himself think too long. He missed her. He missed the blissful, happy ignorance of his early childhood. Konoha’s citizens weren’t people to be jealous of, but he kind of was anyway. They seemed to have everything he lost.

But then gossip trickled between the villagers, a reminder that he shouldn’t assume any place was actually safe: An unknown rogue infiltrated the village and killed practically all the Uchiha.

Some were glad of this. Some were pitying. Some opportunistic or skeptical.

Haku was suspicious and slightly wary, but even if someone in this village was disguising himself as a rogue and hunting kekkei genkai carriers, it didn’t exactly matter as long as he fled soon enough.

Sensei soon announced his early ‘graduation’ to the entire class and congratulated him, along with two other students:

Ayame, one of the only kids with anything resembling skill, and that weird blond girl, Shiho.

Everyone knew he got along with Ayame the least. Shiho was tolerable, but they still clashed sometimes and her squeaky voice grated on his nerves. It was as if they were assigned to him out of spite.

Sensei said they could wait in the currently empty Class 13 for their jonin instructor, instead of sitting in on a day of lessons they no longer needed. Haku jumped at the chance to get away from everyone, and for some reason, his new ‘teammates’ decided to follow.

And now rain drummed outside the classroom windows, distorting the glass with moisture. Haku watched the blurred view of the schoolyard anyway, since that was less vexing than peering around the classroom. A light scratching noise came from behind and to the left: Shiho, scribbling down notes about whatever book she was reading.

Ayame was glaring at the wall, last he bothered to look. Annoying girl. If she didn’t want to be here, why didn’t she just go? 

Having other people in the room naturally kept his mind more alert, which was important even in such a sickeningly serene village, but that was the only upside to their presence.

He refused to look around the room. It was an empty one that saw use the last time Konoha was at war and needed to train extra ninja to further their interests. This one was for the little kids, as exemplified by some of the bright, colorful posters encouraging students to do their best, be heroic, and nourish their Will of Fire.

Propaganda to brainwash the next generation. At least Zabuza didn’t feed him such trash. He performed acts of kindness to make himself worth following, but he never lied about his purpose or pretended to be nice. He never forced Haku to follow him, either.

Zabuza proved that the world was made up of nothing but tools. Even leaders were hammers that drove the chisels called shinobi. So why did Konoha go so far as to pretend that wasn’t the case?

All Konoha’s children were propped up by pride and glorious legends and sent off to the battlefield, happy in their naivety until they were slain by reality. Even in this village, everyone was a tool, regardless of the fact that they were well maintained and happy, and regardless of how they pretended to be more than weapons to be used and discarded. Konoha dared to hide that fact behind smiles and delusions.

His gaze slid to the left as an aggravated sigh crept out of Ayame.

She kept saying he looked like a girl. One day, he took a hard look in the mirror and realized she was kind of right. No wonder Zabuza’s men tried to mock and hurt him at first. To them, women were weak, theirs to beat and hurt over the smallest irritation.

But those guys weren’t a rarity, and that was why he did not envy women. Mother knew Father to be a threat, yet she still spent her last moments crying to him, begging as if he might still love her enough to spare her. Other ones, like Ayame and Shiho, were cursed to live under Konoha’s lies. Those two girls were his age, but they were probably going to die like Mother did: frolicking off to their fate, filled with blind trust for whoever became their demise. Feeling sadness and pity for such annoying people was unbearable, especially since he had more important things to deal with. 

Minutes ticked by, until finally, a new presence approached the classroom door and stepped through the threshold. A deep, calm voice gave a solemn greeting, and Haku’s eyes evaluated the newcomer.

He was...a boy, barely a year older, if that. Long black hair, dark eyes, kind of tall for his age. Haku paid more attention when the stranger introduced himself.

Uchiha Itachi had a steady confidence that people gained only after getting used to heavy doses of responsibility and tragedy. Power and professionalism lurked in his demeanor, and as a prodigy himself, Haku knew better than to underestimate someone because of youth.

But he wasn’t used to actually following someone that young. According to Zabuza, children genius enough to climb the ladder so quickly tended to be lone wolves, ones that had a lot of learning to do before joining a pack and becoming its alpha. As such, prodigies were typically kept as hunter nin and the like, only to be given mentoring positions once they truly gained the experience needed to lead others.

Either Konoha was passive aggressive and controlling enough to have such an obvious hunter nin guard him, or they simply had no idea how to allocate resources like hunter nin. 

Since, up until now, they haven’t been stupid enough to trust him, it couldn’t be the latter. They sent this guy to watch him. Obviously, anyone that became his ‘sensei’ would be capable of killing him, but the blatantness of the Uchiha’s role made him bristle.

Exactly who this boy was mattered, too. Itachi happened to be one of only two that survived the Uchiha Massacre. Why only this guy and his brother? That was suspicious, and the idea of having to report to another kid only rubbed salt in the wound.

Itachi told them where they would meet tomorrow morning, then left. Haku waited a minute, then walked out as Shiho finished packing up her books.

Report to Training Ground 8 he would, and play along as many years as he needed.

But someday, he would slip away, find Zabuza, and everything would be back to normal. And then, he would be free of all the danger, frustration and lies this place heaped upon him here.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment to tell me what you think. Comments motivate me and give me an idea of how to improve. If you want more in between updates, check out my other fanfics :) I recently started a prequel to this story called Along The Darkening Breeze. It mostly takes place long before What The Winds Bring, so it shouldn't spoil too much. Anyway, have a great day!


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